I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize