Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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