Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
