I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
