Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
