there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
