dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
