I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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