He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
