her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
