shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
