Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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