Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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