youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
