we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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