OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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