dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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