The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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