You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
