I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
