We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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