Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
