Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
