just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
