You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
