Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
