When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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