You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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