Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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