I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
