I think I died a long time ago.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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