Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
