Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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