Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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