Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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