ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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