You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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