Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
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