We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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