now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
