My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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