I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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