I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
