Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
