Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
