Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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