im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
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