Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
barbara walters just said penis...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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