Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He did a backflip because drugs
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
