I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Randomize
