THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
