There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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