It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
